The Path of the Black Madonna

The Black Madonna is calling us to awaken. She is the presence that whispers in our ears encouraging us to look deep into ourselves for truth. She is the archetype that is embracing the world at this moment requiring us to fully incarnate and to be grounded in our bodies. She is asking us to be in relationship with one another and with our mother earth so that we can bring about the changes that are so desperately needed in this world.

The Black Madonna, typically represented as a dark and sometimes black madonna statue, most often holding a child, but not always, is found in many parts of Europe. Some think she is black simply because of the wood she was carved from, others think it is because she got blackened with soot from fire. However, neither of these explain the truth of the Black Madonna. She is black because she represents the dark fertile soil of the earth and she is black because she represents our unconscious selves. She also represents the void, the seat of creation where all things come from. And the child on her lap, is the symbol of the newborn consciousness that is birthed through the initiatory rites of the Black Madonna.

Learning or studying about her through the intellect is not a path to really knowing who she is as an archetypal force. To truly know her is to experience her. To surrender your self to her power and let her guide you through profound transformation. It is the only way to truly understand the Black Madonna.

We have become so disconnected from nature, never being fully present in our bodies and sinking our roots into the earth for our nourishment. Instead we have been in co- dependent relationships whether it be with one another or with substances that give us a false sense of security and sustenance. The Black Madonna guides us through our grief, our fears and the trauma that has prohibited us from growing our roots and establishing authentic relationships with the natural world and with one another.

I first encountered the Black Madonna on a trip to France 15 years ago. Prior to the trip, I had been noticing the feeling of standing back from life. I didnʼt feel like I was truly experiencing life in a way that was passionate and I basically felt really disconnected. After being woken by a dream where I was frantically running through the streets of a foreign land and hid inside an unlit cathedral finding refuge, I intuitively knew this foreign land was France and that for some reason I was being called there. It was only a matter of months that I had my bags packed, anxious to discover what was there for me.

I went from cathedral to cathedral visiting the many statues of the Black Madonna and would pray for guidance, leaving my offerings and gratitude still not quite understanding why I had been called to France or even who the Black Madonna was. It was in a tiny church, far away from any city and out on a winding country road that I stared into the knowing eyes of the Black Madonna asking the question, “what is it that you are asking of me?”. It was as if a lightening bolt went through my heart, clearing my throat that had previously been swollen and congested and bringing tears to my eyes. I felt my heart open to all the world and in that moment began the most powerful initiation of my life.

For years following this experience, I journeyed deeper into my soul than I ever thought imaginable. I surrendered to Her, allowing every grief and every trauma to surface so that I could go through it, heal it and become free. Because the Black Madonna is the creative force that is our sexuality, I spent many years exploring my sexuality and the distorted beliefs I held as well as trauma that was not just my own, but the collective wounding of the feminine. I wanted to understand, not just for myself, but for all of humankind, why sex had become an area of control, fear, and abuse. I wanted to understand the wounding behind those drawn to S&M so that I could someday help to free them. I wanted to experience the power of gentleness and compassion that could heal sexual abuse and free myself and others from the shame that is often held deep in our souls. I wanted to bring my own sexuality to a place of sacredness where I could experience divine union. With every step I took, the Black Madonna was there, guiding me and shining the light in my darkest corners. Her eyes that held such compassion and wisdom provided me with a sense of love, security and incredible acceptance while I journeyed through the deepest parts of myself.

This was an initiation of feeling and becoming alive in my body. There is no other way through this journey than to feel and that means all of the pain and grief and fear that we have turned away from leaving us so disconnected from the nourishing elements of our mother earth. It is an initiation that can make us feel like we are going crazy as we encounter one threshold after another, bringing up feelings such as betrayal, rejection, victimization, and abandonment. But without moving through these feelings, we are never able to heal and to experience the passionate joy that is found when we live fully in our bodies and with our roots sunk deep in to our mother earth. We are never able to embody our creative forces that are instrumental in providing us with nourishment and the power to create our lives the way we would like.

This is why the Black Madonna is calling to all of us. She is not only guiding us to fully incarnate so that we may live passionate, creative lives, but she is inviting us to become active participants in creating a new world free from fear and control. She is the dark, rich fertile soil from which all things flourish. She is the force of nature that brings us through the seasons and the cycles of death and rebirth. She is the archetype that guides us to break through illusions finding truth and freedom. She is profound transformation.

Dandelion Blossom Fritters

I love this time of year when things are just beginning to sprout and everything feels so fresh and tender. Here at Hawk Circle, we have just started to see a few dandelion flowers in bloom as well as violets. Dandelions are a great plant and unfortunately it's a plant that many of us spend a lot of time trying to get rid of. Myself included in areas that I don't want taken over by dandelions. However, I still have plenty of dandelions around my yard and look forward to their sprouting each spring. Before the flowers bloom, the greens are great for picking to add to salads or to cook as you would other greens. Look for the real tender new leaves. Once they've bloomed, they can be quite bitter so be sure to collect them before their flowers blossom.

Once the flowers blossom, they are so much fun and easy to collect. A great project for young children since they are so easy to pop off the stem as well as easy to find and identify. One of my favorite spring recipes is Dandelion Blossom Fritters. It's simple, delicious, nutritious, and inexpensive. What more could you ask for?
Dandelion Fritter Recipe
- Collect a basketful of fresh dandelion flowers, making sure you are not collecting near a road or where the area may have been sprayed with pesticides.  Wash gently and pat to dry.
- Fill a bowl with corn flakes and crush them slightly.
- Fill another bowl with a couple of beaten eggs and a little milk.
- Dip the flowers in one by one into the beaten eggs and then roll in the crushed corn flakes.
- Place in hot skillet with about an inch of olive oil and fry until they are lightly brown and crispy.
I serve these with honey and they are delicious. I have also made a violet flower syrup to go with them since the violets come out at the same time as the dandelions. However, since violet flowers are not easy to collect being so small, I prefer to use the flowers I have for making violet jelly. Have a great spring and enjoy nature's bounty!

Healing Our Family Patterns

How many of you parents have heard, "you can't heal your kids", or "you can't heal your partner"? I've heard so many people say that and I have to say, I think that is the most disempowering message that especially as a mom and the primary caregiver for my family I have ever heard. Now I admit, I understand where that belief comes from and to some extent, it's true. It's true because the family is a system, with everyone playing a particular role in a much larger pattern and how can you heal one of your family members when you are part of the same pattern. I completely get that. However, you have the power and the potential to bring healing to your family.

The family is an energetic system, and if you can recognize the pattern that you want to change and most importantly, your participation in the pattern, then you can bring about profound change and healing to your family. However, here's the key. You can work to heal the pattern within yourself, but as far as the rest of the family goes and how they respond to your shift in the energetic pattern is completely up to them AND you must remain unattached to the outcome. You must remain open ended as to how the rest of your family responds and focus only on yourself and your own healing. Remaining open allows for miracles to happen. When we do the work and are attached to the outcome in regards to the rest of the family, you have just created a closed system. Closed systems are just that, an energetic system that is closed, not open ended. There is no room for the energy of miracles to enter.

Is it hard to be unattached? Absolutely! It's a rite of passage and an especially difficult one when you are dealing with the people you love most. A good way to approach this, is first, you are healing yourself for yourself and is a great act of loving yourself. What a wonderful example to set for your family. Second, when it comes to creating an energetic open system, a good question to put out there is "IF there was something that I could do to help, what would that look like?", or when you are healing yourself and shifting the energy, ask yourself, "IF I change this for myself, I wonder what the response will be." The open system is a much different thought process. You are leaving room for all sorts of possibilities, rather than saying something like, "IF I heal this, will they then do .............". Chances are the answer is NO. You are creating an energetic closed system and acting to get a particular response. No room for miracles there.

The other power we have is prayer. And let's not underestimate the power of prayer. Again, you don't want your prayers to be a closed system because even though you think you may know what your family member is needing, you really don't. When I pray for one of my children while they are going through a particularly difficult time, I pray for the power of their spirit to shine through. I completely trust in the power and strength of their spirit and their own innate wisdom. In a way, through the act of prayer, I am shining a light and bearing witness to their own power. It is in a way, holding the space of a spiritual midwife. I am seeing them. Not who I might want them to be, but their inner strength, wisdom and authentic self. It has been a very powerful experience and when my child's spirit shines through, I am blown away by who they are.

What a great feeling to know you have the power and don't have to sit back and watch your loved one(s) struggle. Is it an easy journey? No, it is not. It requires you to let go of control, trust, and journey deep into yourself. It requires you to be humble, to forgive yourself for your own unconsciousness, and to trust in the process of miracles.

Backyard Chickens

Raising chickens in your backyard is pretty easy to do and having fresh eggs each day for your family is so rewarding. There are a number of varieties of chickens ranging in size, color, and temperment. Every breed has a smaller version known as a Batam. Batams, being smaller than regular chickens are easier to take care of. They don't eat as much, they don't require such a large space and the coop is easier to keep clean. The drawbacks are that their eggs are smaller, 3 batam eggs equal about 2 regular eggs, and if you butcher them, they are very small once the feathers are gone. (Not meat chickens by any means!)

I raise Buff Cochins and Buff Brahmas, both Batams. I've gotten used to the smaller eggs and really enjoy these two breeds. They're not at all aggressive, very pretty to look at, and are excellent setters and layers. This isn't true for all breeds and if you want to have them hatch eggs to increase your flock, having hens that will sit on eggs til they hatch is necessary. Some breeds are great egg layers, but will never sit on eggs and others are great sitters, but don't lay many eggs.

Chickens are great at scratching the ground and finding bugs to eat, but you won't want them in your garden. They will scratch away any beds planted with seeds as well as tender saplings. It's nice to be able to have them free range, but this isn't always possible especially if you live in the suburbs or have close neighbors. A fenced in area works fine, just be sure to bury the base of your fence so other animals won't be tempted to invade the pen. Also, a 4 ft. fence is fine if you are planning on clipping their wings so they won't fly, otherwise you will need a much taller fence or you can buy netting that goes over the top of the fenced in chicken pen.

The chicken coup doesn't need to be huge, but it does need to be well ventilated. A vent opposite a window or two windows work fine. Also, the more southern exposure your coup gets, the more light in the coup which will encourage your hens to lay eggs into the winter. If you have plenty of land, having a coup on wheels is a great way to move your flock around.


As far as food, they love my daily food scraps for the compost. Just don't give it to them near the coop or you will attract other animals besides your chickens, and the other animals will be sure to find your chicken grain as well. Besides food scraps, I feed my chickens organic layer crumble. During the winter I mix it with whole corn. It's harder to digest and tends to generate heat during the cold winter months. If the egg shells seem thin or a bit fragile, I add crushed oyster shells to their feed.

How many chickens should you get? Depending on where you live, there may be zoning laws that restrict the the number of chickens you may have or in some places may not allow any chickens, so it is a good idea to check before investing time or money. I have seven hens and together they lay about 5-6 eggs a day. More than plenty for our family and the extra are used by the summer camp. If it was just our family eating them, I would probably only have about three hens. If you want to increase your flock, just leave the nest filled with eggs for a few days and they will begin sitting.

I enjoy my chickens. The eggs are so much better than anything I can buy in the store and they are so much fun to watch!

What is an Initiation?

There are some circumstances in our lives that clearly mark an initiation, a crossing of a threshold into new territories, knowledge and abilities. For an example, the first time we leave home as a young adult is a clear path of change, a shift from living in the comforts and protection of our parents' home, to fending for ourselves and learning to navigate through the world. This initiation into young adulthood is often celebrated as a graduation party where friends and relatives get together and honor this time, giving you gifts to support your journey.

But what about the initiations that life hands us that aren't so clearly marked and defined nor often times supported? These initiations may go unseen by everyone, including the initiate themselves. Your life may feel like it's getting turned upside down by a series of events that change your life or place boulders on your path forcing you to choose a different direction. These events can leave you puzzled, bewildered, frightened, lonely, distraught, and at times can leave you feeling completely out of control, as though you are losing your mind.

It is at these times where your soul is at the helm steering your life in a direction that will bring you to a new place in your life, IF you are willing to let go. The events that are creating a crumbling of your life is your soul's way of pushing you through the initiation, across the threshold where new beginnings, new knowledge, and perhaps new abilities await.

However, without the support of a guide that can traverse this type of landscape well, your path of initiation can become a series of never ending struggle and most commonly will take the road of blaming someone or something else, never crossing the threshold.

What is it that prevents us from crossing the threshold? Well, first of all, how many of you are taught about initiations in your life? How many times did you see your mother going through a difficult time and had her "initiation guide" comfort you by telling you, "your mom is going through a difficult initiation and is doing a great job". "When she completes this initiation, we will hold a big party and she will get to share all that she learned from this experience." I'm willing to bet that most of you never experienced this in your life. So, not having any frame of reference or understanding of initiations is a big reason why they can be so difficult and easily aborted.

The other reason is fear. I've been through many initiations and there hasn't been one initiation where fear wasn't present. To pass through the threshold is a type of death. You can't experience a rebirth without first experiencing a death. The death is the letting go of what ever is being asked of us, making space for the new to come in. It can feel incredibly scary. As many times as I've gone through an initiation and know exactly what they look and feel like and the universal law that presides over initiations, I still can be terrified as I step over the threshhold. The death can feel incredibly real and incredibly scary. Whether it's letting go of a loved one, a job or a perception, it can be very scary and the only thing waiting for you on the other side is the unknown. Hmmmmmmmmmm, not very comforting.

However, with the help of someone guiding you along the way, comfort can be found even within the chaos. And what may have at first felt like complete turmoil, becomes an adventure or a journey that is going to bring you to a new place of being, to a greater awareness of yourself, a more expanded state of soulful being and emotional freedom.

The Staff of Life

I've loved learning the history of bread baking from its nutritional values to its community supportive quality. It is a symbol of the earth holding all the elements needed for life because it is primarily made from seeds, holding the potential for new life.One of the oldest communities of agriculture and bread baking was Catal Huyuk in Turkey, dating back to 6300-5500BC. I visited the ruins of Catal Huyuk many years ago, and it is an incredible ancient city, much larger than I had envisioned and one that they are still excavating. It is known for its temples dedicated to the Mother Goddess.
he making of bread was a community experience from grinding the grains to tending the fire of the central hearth for baking. The picture above is of an old style breadmaking oven that I found in Egypt and is still used. I'm planning to duplicate this oven here at Hawk Circle someday. Here is my favorite bread recipe. It is so basic which makes it ideal for adding different ingredients each time you make it.

2 pkgs of yeast
2 tsp. sugar
1 Cup scalded milk
1 Cup boiling water
5-6 Cups flour
4 Tbs. sugar
4 Tbs. butter
1 Tbs. salt
1 egg

Mix the yeast and 2t. of sugar with 1/4 warm water and let sit until yeast is activated. Pour the boiling water and scalded milk over the butter, sugar and salt. Let sit until it becomes warm, NOT hot. If it is still too hot when you add the yeast mixture, it can kill the yeast. Add beaten egg and yeast mixture, stir and then add 1 Cup of flour at a time while stirring. You may place this in a bowl, cover and let sit in a warm place til it rises or you may cover and refrigerate until needed. Bake at 350 degrees.

Variations: I will often use a combination of white and wheat flours, at a ratio of about 50:50. I also add at times fresh rosemary and thyme for an herb bread and once, some of the students here at Hawk Circle baked the bread with whole garlic cloves. Other times I will had dried fruits such as currents, cranberries, raisins and apricots. This is also the same recipe that I use to make delicious cinnamon rolls on Christmas and Easter morning. I make the dough the night before and refrigerate it. The next morning I roll out the dough in a rectangle shape, spread soft butter on and sprinkle with cinnamon and brown sugar(sometimes I add raisins and nuts). Then I roll it up and slice. I put the cinnamon rolls on a cookie sheet and let sit until they have risen, then bake. After baking I drizzle the rolls with frosting made of butter, confectionery sugar and milk. They are my family's favorite!

Pine Needle Tea

Known to be a great source of vitamin C, white pine needle tea makes an excellent remedy to fight the winter cold. It is easy to identify by its brush like cluster of needles and is the only 5 needled eastern pine. To make a tea, simply gather enough needles to fill a large mason jar. After stuffing the needles into the jar, fill the jar with boiling water and let sit for several minutes. The tea will turn a light yellow/green. Strain the tea and add honey for a healthy, warming tea. You may refrigerate any left over tea for later use. Enjoy!