What is an Initiation?

There are some circumstances in our lives that clearly mark an initiation, a crossing of a threshold into new territories, knowledge and abilities. For an example, the first time we leave home as a young adult is a clear path of change, a shift from living in the comforts and protection of our parents' home, to fending for ourselves and learning to navigate through the world. This initiation into young adulthood is often celebrated as a graduation party where friends and relatives get together and honor this time, giving you gifts to support your journey.

But what about the initiations that life hands us that aren't so clearly marked and defined nor often times supported? These initiations may go unseen by everyone, including the initiate themselves. Your life may feel like it's getting turned upside down by a series of events that change your life or place boulders on your path forcing you to choose a different direction. These events can leave you puzzled, bewildered, frightened, lonely, distraught, and at times can leave you feeling completely out of control, as though you are losing your mind.

It is at these times where your soul is at the helm steering your life in a direction that will bring you to a new place in your life, IF you are willing to let go. The events that are creating a crumbling of your life is your soul's way of pushing you through the initiation, across the threshold where new beginnings, new knowledge, and perhaps new abilities await.

However, without the support of a guide that can traverse this type of landscape well, your path of initiation can become a series of never ending struggle and most commonly will take the road of blaming someone or something else, never crossing the threshold.

What is it that prevents us from crossing the threshold? Well, first of all, how many of you are taught about initiations in your life? How many times did you see your mother going through a difficult time and had her "initiation guide" comfort you by telling you, "your mom is going through a difficult initiation and is doing a great job". "When she completes this initiation, we will hold a big party and she will get to share all that she learned from this experience." I'm willing to bet that most of you never experienced this in your life. So, not having any frame of reference or understanding of initiations is a big reason why they can be so difficult and easily aborted.

The other reason is fear. I've been through many initiations and there hasn't been one initiation where fear wasn't present. To pass through the threshold is a type of death. You can't experience a rebirth without first experiencing a death. The death is the letting go of what ever is being asked of us, making space for the new to come in. It can feel incredibly scary. As many times as I've gone through an initiation and know exactly what they look and feel like and the universal law that presides over initiations, I still can be terrified as I step over the threshhold. The death can feel incredibly real and incredibly scary. Whether it's letting go of a loved one, a job or a perception, it can be very scary and the only thing waiting for you on the other side is the unknown. Hmmmmmmmmmm, not very comforting.

However, with the help of someone guiding you along the way, comfort can be found even within the chaos. And what may have at first felt like complete turmoil, becomes an adventure or a journey that is going to bring you to a new place of being, to a greater awareness of yourself, a more expanded state of soulful being and emotional freedom.

The Staff of Life

I've loved learning the history of bread baking from its nutritional values to its community supportive quality. It is a symbol of the earth holding all the elements needed for life because it is primarily made from seeds, holding the potential for new life.One of the oldest communities of agriculture and bread baking was Catal Huyuk in Turkey, dating back to 6300-5500BC. I visited the ruins of Catal Huyuk many years ago, and it is an incredible ancient city, much larger than I had envisioned and one that they are still excavating. It is known for its temples dedicated to the Mother Goddess.
he making of bread was a community experience from grinding the grains to tending the fire of the central hearth for baking. The picture above is of an old style breadmaking oven that I found in Egypt and is still used. I'm planning to duplicate this oven here at Hawk Circle someday. Here is my favorite bread recipe. It is so basic which makes it ideal for adding different ingredients each time you make it.

2 pkgs of yeast
2 tsp. sugar
1 Cup scalded milk
1 Cup boiling water
5-6 Cups flour
4 Tbs. sugar
4 Tbs. butter
1 Tbs. salt
1 egg

Mix the yeast and 2t. of sugar with 1/4 warm water and let sit until yeast is activated. Pour the boiling water and scalded milk over the butter, sugar and salt. Let sit until it becomes warm, NOT hot. If it is still too hot when you add the yeast mixture, it can kill the yeast. Add beaten egg and yeast mixture, stir and then add 1 Cup of flour at a time while stirring. You may place this in a bowl, cover and let sit in a warm place til it rises or you may cover and refrigerate until needed. Bake at 350 degrees.

Variations: I will often use a combination of white and wheat flours, at a ratio of about 50:50. I also add at times fresh rosemary and thyme for an herb bread and once, some of the students here at Hawk Circle baked the bread with whole garlic cloves. Other times I will had dried fruits such as currents, cranberries, raisins and apricots. This is also the same recipe that I use to make delicious cinnamon rolls on Christmas and Easter morning. I make the dough the night before and refrigerate it. The next morning I roll out the dough in a rectangle shape, spread soft butter on and sprinkle with cinnamon and brown sugar(sometimes I add raisins and nuts). Then I roll it up and slice. I put the cinnamon rolls on a cookie sheet and let sit until they have risen, then bake. After baking I drizzle the rolls with frosting made of butter, confectionery sugar and milk. They are my family's favorite!