What is an Initiation?

There are some circumstances in our lives that clearly mark an initiation, a crossing of a threshold into new territories, knowledge and abilities. For an example, the first time we leave home as a young adult is a clear path of change, a shift from living in the comforts and protection of our parents' home, to fending for ourselves and learning to navigate through the world. This initiation into young adulthood is often celebrated as a graduation party where friends and relatives get together and honor this time, giving you gifts to support your journey.

But what about the initiations that life hands us that aren't so clearly marked and defined nor often times supported? These initiations may go unseen by everyone, including the initiate themselves. Your life may feel like it's getting turned upside down by a series of events that change your life or place boulders on your path forcing you to choose a different direction. These events can leave you puzzled, bewildered, frightened, lonely, distraught, and at times can leave you feeling completely out of control, as though you are losing your mind.

It is at these times where your soul is at the helm steering your life in a direction that will bring you to a new place in your life, IF you are willing to let go. The events that are creating a crumbling of your life is your soul's way of pushing you through the initiation, across the threshold where new beginnings, new knowledge, and perhaps new abilities await.

However, without the support of a guide that can traverse this type of landscape well, your path of initiation can become a series of never ending struggle and most commonly will take the road of blaming someone or something else, never crossing the threshold.

What is it that prevents us from crossing the threshold? Well, first of all, how many of you are taught about initiations in your life? How many times did you see your mother going through a difficult time and had her "initiation guide" comfort you by telling you, "your mom is going through a difficult initiation and is doing a great job". "When she completes this initiation, we will hold a big party and she will get to share all that she learned from this experience." I'm willing to bet that most of you never experienced this in your life. So, not having any frame of reference or understanding of initiations is a big reason why they can be so difficult and easily aborted.

The other reason is fear. I've been through many initiations and there hasn't been one initiation where fear wasn't present. To pass through the threshold is a type of death. You can't experience a rebirth without first experiencing a death. The death is the letting go of what ever is being asked of us, making space for the new to come in. It can feel incredibly scary. As many times as I've gone through an initiation and know exactly what they look and feel like and the universal law that presides over initiations, I still can be terrified as I step over the threshhold. The death can feel incredibly real and incredibly scary. Whether it's letting go of a loved one, a job or a perception, it can be very scary and the only thing waiting for you on the other side is the unknown. Hmmmmmmmmmm, not very comforting.

However, with the help of someone guiding you along the way, comfort can be found even within the chaos. And what may have at first felt like complete turmoil, becomes an adventure or a journey that is going to bring you to a new place of being, to a greater awareness of yourself, a more expanded state of soulful being and emotional freedom.

The Staff of Life

I've loved learning the history of bread baking from its nutritional values to its community supportive quality. It is a symbol of the earth holding all the elements needed for life because it is primarily made from seeds, holding the potential for new life.One of the oldest communities of agriculture and bread baking was Catal Huyuk in Turkey, dating back to 6300-5500BC. I visited the ruins of Catal Huyuk many years ago, and it is an incredible ancient city, much larger than I had envisioned and one that they are still excavating. It is known for its temples dedicated to the Mother Goddess.
he making of bread was a community experience from grinding the grains to tending the fire of the central hearth for baking. The picture above is of an old style breadmaking oven that I found in Egypt and is still used. I'm planning to duplicate this oven here at Hawk Circle someday. Here is my favorite bread recipe. It is so basic which makes it ideal for adding different ingredients each time you make it.

2 pkgs of yeast
2 tsp. sugar
1 Cup scalded milk
1 Cup boiling water
5-6 Cups flour
4 Tbs. sugar
4 Tbs. butter
1 Tbs. salt
1 egg

Mix the yeast and 2t. of sugar with 1/4 warm water and let sit until yeast is activated. Pour the boiling water and scalded milk over the butter, sugar and salt. Let sit until it becomes warm, NOT hot. If it is still too hot when you add the yeast mixture, it can kill the yeast. Add beaten egg and yeast mixture, stir and then add 1 Cup of flour at a time while stirring. You may place this in a bowl, cover and let sit in a warm place til it rises or you may cover and refrigerate until needed. Bake at 350 degrees.

Variations: I will often use a combination of white and wheat flours, at a ratio of about 50:50. I also add at times fresh rosemary and thyme for an herb bread and once, some of the students here at Hawk Circle baked the bread with whole garlic cloves. Other times I will had dried fruits such as currents, cranberries, raisins and apricots. This is also the same recipe that I use to make delicious cinnamon rolls on Christmas and Easter morning. I make the dough the night before and refrigerate it. The next morning I roll out the dough in a rectangle shape, spread soft butter on and sprinkle with cinnamon and brown sugar(sometimes I add raisins and nuts). Then I roll it up and slice. I put the cinnamon rolls on a cookie sheet and let sit until they have risen, then bake. After baking I drizzle the rolls with frosting made of butter, confectionery sugar and milk. They are my family's favorite!

Pine Needle Tea

Known to be a great source of vitamin C, white pine needle tea makes an excellent remedy to fight the winter cold. It is easy to identify by its brush like cluster of needles and is the only 5 needled eastern pine. To make a tea, simply gather enough needles to fill a large mason jar. After stuffing the needles into the jar, fill the jar with boiling water and let sit for several minutes. The tea will turn a light yellow/green. Strain the tea and add honey for a healthy, warming tea. You may refrigerate any left over tea for later use. Enjoy!

Composting - a divine process

This is the time of year that I crave green. I crave the color and especially the smell of fresh, green grass. As beautiful as the snow is, I can feel that my body is needing green in other ways than eating a plate full of collards or kale and we won't really see spring up here at Hawk Circle until mid April.

I have two remedies for those of you who also feel this way. One is making fruit shakes and adding a heaping tablespoon of PaleoGreens. It's the best supplement that I have found. It contains a variety of organic vegetables and best of all, it has a lemon-lime taste that is actually enjoyable and can easily be added to shakes for your kids with out them ever noticing. Unlike the powder supplements that you have to plug your nose while drinking because they are so horrific.

The other remedy to bring green in to my home is to plant grass. I will find an old planter, fill it with dirt and sprinkle it with grass seeds and then stick an apple or willow branch in the middle. The grass grows quickly and smells so good while the branch's tender leaves begin to unfold. You can also grow the grass in pie tins that will fit inside your children's Easter baskets.

Composting - a divine process

Often times we think of the Divine as what looks beautiful, feels good, and is pure and holy. I've begun to have an appreciation for the Divine that is forever present in things that don't always look beautiful and at times can even feel repulsive. Take the process of the compost pile. Bits of rotting food scraps, grass clippings, some dead leaves, manure, and you have yourself an incredible compost pile where everything is breaking down, falling apart, transforming into what will someday be beautiful, nutrient rich, life giving matter that will feed new growth and healthy new plants.

Is this not what we are experiencing right now in our country? A complete breakdown, a crumbling, decomposition of what no longer serves us. Our food scraps that no longer provide us with the nourishment that we need. It is the Divine process of transformation and change. It doesn't always look pretty and it can be so uncomfortable and scary and repulsive all at the same time. But the possibilities of what may grow out of this breakdown are endless and exciting to say the least.

I've watched my family go through breakdowns. And believe me in the moment, I can easily forget that this is a Divine process, a natural process. It feels scary and feels like such an unwelcome upheaval, and an ending that is sure not to have a new beginning. This is often what our teenagers offer us - a human compost bin. The struggle that we often observe with teens is their attempt to breakdown old family structures so that they can grow beyond the family container. It's not a fun process, but what is being asked of us as parents is to let go, not completely, but to let go and allow for the expansion. When the old patterns that no longer serve us are fully decomposed and I watch the new growth begin to take place within myself and the rest of my family, I am reminded of just how Divine it all is. TRUST the process!