Elderberry Syrup - Winter's tasty medicine!

We are fortunate to have two Elderberry bushes in our yard that yield approximately 10 or more gallons of berries each fall. Not only do the berries produce an incredible purple/pink color when it comes to dyeing wool, it has the highest vitamin C content than almost any other berry. So whether I am making jelly or syrup, I know that I am also making a delicious medicine that I can use through out the winter months. This year I made several jars of jelly and several more bottles of syrup. Usually I make a cough syrup that I add honey, yarrow and other immune supporting plants. I didn't necessarily find that my family used it as often as I would have liked. I think because it was more of a medicine and was only sought after when they didn't feel well. This year I made syrup and put it in maple syrup bottles. We use it on our pancakes and waffles and I like to sweeten my tea with it or mix it in with my plain yogurt. It's really tasty either way and is still a "medicine" that is good for my family. Here are a few tips for making Elderberry Syrup.

Frozen Elderberries (being such a small berry, they are easiest to work with when frozen)

Scrape frozen berries off their branch using a fork and place in a pot.

Add water to just barely covering the berries.

Boil while stirring and mashing the berries.

Once cook

ed, remove from stove and strain through a wire mesh.

Measure out juice and add equal amounts of sugar or honey. Unfortunately, making syrup or jelly does require a fair amount of sugar.

Return to stove and cook until it has been reduced and is thick like syrup.

I made a really large batch this fall and put in a little pectin to thicken it but you can also accomplish reaching the right consistency by boiling it down.

I poured the syrup into maple syrup bottles and sealed them so that I could store them with out refrigerating.

When I am making more of a medicine, after straining the berries, I will return the juice to the stove and infuse it with yarrow, echinacea, fresh nutmeg, ginger root and cinnamon.

Hope you enjoy this recipe and blessings on a healthy winter for you and your family!

Embracing Darkness

Our striving for consciousness and enlightenment that has been at the forefront of the New Age movement has in a sense uprooted us from the earth, our lower chakras, and a place of deep feeling and passionate living. We continue to seek our answers from the light and turn away from the darkness and dangerously "lift" ourselves above any pain or thoughts viewed as negative. Why I refer to this as dangerous, is because in doing this, we create our lives from a false center, one that is not rooted in the earth, authenticity and truth. And from this place, we struggle to create the lives that we truly desire leaving us frustrated, confused and exhausted.

There is much richness found in darkness and as we enter into the darkest times of the year, I invite you to embrace it, to sit in the stillness and seek your answers from within the darkness. Darkness is the place where all things come from. It is the seed buried deep in the fertile rich soil gathering its nutrients through out the winter months and it's the depth of our soul where our untapped potential lives. As you embrace this time of year and your own inner sanctuary, you will find the return of light from within as the Winter Solstice nears and new ideas and wisdom begin to ignite your inner flame.

Nanny Berry Pudding

We don't always find a place that has enough nanny berries to make it worth our while harvesting them. But this year, Ric found a number of bushes abundant with berries on his way back from one of our after school programs. For those of you who have never had Nanny berries, they are black/blue in color and have the taste and consistency of a prune. They have a fairly large flat seed in them making processing fairly tricky. They make a tasty fruit spread, but this year I made them into pudding and then poured the pudding while still hot over a warm, vanilla pound cake. It was really delicious so thought I better pass the recipe along.

- place berries in pan and just barely cover with water

- boil and then when soft and tender, mash them the best you can separating the pulp from the seeds.

- boil some more to reduce the water by about half.

- I then put it all in my food strainer and tried to get as much of the juice and pulp as I could by using the food strainer attachment for pumpkin. I would have liked to have had a lot more pulp, but ended up with a fair amount of a thick juice substance.

- I put the juice back on the stove, added just a little sugar, some vanilla, and about 1Tbs of flour for thickening. I could have used cornstarch but didn't have any on hand.

It made a dark, rich pudding that would have been wonderful served in small bowls with a bit of cream poured on the top. However, since I already had a pound cake in the oven, I poured the hot nanny berry pudding over the warm pound cake. YUM!

Autumn Olive Berry Jam

Every fall, Ric and I go in search of Autumn Olive Berries. They look similar to honeysuckle bushes, however, their red berries look as if they've been coated with glitter and their leaves are long and slender. Some say they are the next pomegranate because they are so high in antioxidants. One year we made fruit leather from the berries, but we prefer filling our shelves with jars of jam. It's so delicious, good for you and is a beautiful rose color. Here is how I make it.

-Place berries in a pot and fill with just enough water to barely cover the berries.

-Cook over heat until the berries become tender and are easy to mash.

After the berries have been heated and mashed, strain through a wire mesh strainer to remove seeds. I push some of the pulp through the strainer, which I wouldn't do if I was making jelly. But because I want to use as much of the berry as possible, I prefer

using the pulp and making jam, although it still has the consistency of jelly, just not the clarity.

-Measure the juice and then return to your pot and add 1 box of pectin for every 4 cups of juice.

-Bring to boil until pectin is fully dissolved.

-Add equal amount of sugar to juice and bring to boil once more stirring frequently.

-Pour hot jam into sterile jars and seal.

If a lot of foaming occurs while you cook the jam, add just a bit of butter to reduce the foam.

Enjoy this beautiful and yummy tasting jam on your warm bread and biscuits during the cold winter months.

Mary Lane's Fall Tonic

Fall is such a wonderful season as we gather and prepare plants, berries and nuts from the wild to support us during the winter months to come. My dining room table is covered with a variety of different herbs and flowers drying. Some are for adding to my fall and winter stews and homemade breads, others are for teas and salves that I will be making. And spread out across my drying rack are beans and squash seeds that I'm drying for next year's garden. It's such a great feeling!

I saw this fall tonic that Mary Lane, author of Divine Nourishment had on her most recent newsletter and I just had to pass it along. It's a wonderful combination of plants that make a truly supportive tonic. Here are the plants that she suggests using and if you want to know more about each plant, go to Fall Tonic where Mary offers a detailed description of each plant.

1 cup Nettles
1 cup Goldenrod
1/2 cup Lemon Verbena/or Lemon Balm
1/2 cup Mugwort
1 cup Mullein
1/4 Flax Seed

As Mary suggests, store this mixture in a glass jar with a tight fitting lid. When you are ready to use it, make an infusion steeped with boiling water for a nourishing cup of tea. Enjoy!

Healing the Pain Body

A few years ago I read Eckhart Tolle's book, The New Earth. I thought it was a great book for many reasons, but what I loved the most in his book is the idea of the "pain body". I have found this term to be a great way to frame that part of ourselves that can so easily sabotage what we are really striving for in life. Many times, whether I am teaching or counseling someone, I struggle with finding a language that everyone is comfortable with. Often times, a story or relating a situation to a myth or an archetype is helpful and other times I may refer to it as the shadow. But I have found the term "pain body" to be most useful and a comfortable term for many.

The term alone allows us to make a separation from who we truly are and that of our wounded selves. This separation or space between our pain bodies and our true selves is the first major step in creating change and healing. Once we can experience this space, we can then work with the pain body as opposed to being the pain body.

What exactly is the pain body and how do we recognize it? The pain body is the voice that creeps in to our consciousness that tells us all the reasons why we can't have what we want. Perhaps it tells us that we "aren't smart enough", "we are too old", or maybe "too young", or "we aren't good enough", or "not worth being loved". Whatever our internal message(s) are, it is a message that will stop us in our tracks and prevent us from experiencing what we really want in our life. Most often we have to quiet ourselves and slow down to even hear these messages because they have become such a part of ourselves. The messages from the pain body can be as familiar and unconsciously followed as breathing or blinking. However, once we slow down and bring our awareness to our own internal messages, we can begin to hear the pain body loud and clear.

Where does the pain body come from? Often our pain bodies develop very early on in our childhood, but not always. Whether it's from something that someone said, a situation or an event that brought about fear, the pain body is a belief that we take on about ourselves. It is a false belief based on what someone else may have said or done to us or sometimes the way we perceived things as a child. Whatever it is, the pain body and its internal messages keep us from truly experiencing love, beauty and our personal power. Its main goal is to keep us separate from who we truly are and what we truly desire in life.

So how do we heal the pain body? As I mentioned before, the first step in dissolving the pain body is recognizing our internal dialogue as our pain body, which in turn establishes a necessary space between us and our pain body. Being able to discover the truth of the situation and having a willingness to move through the fears that counteract the pain body is the next step. I have a friend that is great at tricking the pain body. I was talking with her about my own inner dialogue that comes up every time I'm about to do something that is really important to me. My pain body tells me that I can't help anyone. She suggested that in each moment it comes up, acknowledge it and respond by saying, "I'm not trying to help them. I'm just observing." When I did this, I could literally feel my pain body shrink away as if it just got called out on something and became powerless.

Another helpful tool is what I call flipping. Once when I was working on healing something very big in my life, the voice of my pain body had such a grip on me. I began using a technique that I refer to as "flipping". Every time I would hear the voice of my pain body, I would repeat over and over a mantra that instilled a message that was supportive and loving - the opposite of what my pain body was telling me. The words held a very different vibration to them than the words of my pain body and the pain body eventually began to dissolve.

The beauty of this work is, that once we discover the power that our pain bodies have had in our lives and we begin the process of healing, we awaken to a power so much greater than our pain body. We realize that we have been living our lives from a false center. No wonder our life isn't mirroring back to us what we want! Once we discover our authentic self free from our fears and our pain body, we can begin to create our lives from a place of truth and begin manifesting the life we desire.

Late Summer's Gifts for Dyeing Wool

As we approach the end of summer and are just beginning to feel a chill in the air, there is an abundance of plants that make great dyes for your winter knitting projects. I just recently bought several skeins of natural white yarn made from a combination of merino wool, silk and alpaca. It's soft with a beautiful, natural creamy color that would make a great sweater on its own. But with all the colors available in nature, I decided to dye the yarn for making a sweater this winter combining the soft hues of nature.

Early one morning, my dog Libby and I set out to collect our dyes. As the golden rod is at its peak this time of year, I collected a large grocery bag full of the golden flower heads. We then stopped by the elderberry bushes and picked a small bag of elderberries. I had dried onion skins from yellow onions sitting on my counter that I had been collecting for a few weeks. In my mudroom, I had baskets of dried black walnut hulls and dried hickory nut hulls that I had collected last fall. So by the time I was done, I had a full basket of things to dye with. I then took my yarn and using ammonium alum and cream of tartar as mordants, prepared a pot of hot water. The mordant helps to break down the lanolin in the wool so that it will receive in the colors.

Next I "cooked" my nut hulls, plants and berries in pots over the stove for about an hour or more and then strained the pots. I was amazed at how quickly the colors came about. It was exciting to say the least to put skeins of yarn into each dye pot watching them absorb the yellows, purples and browns. After I felt the yarn had sat in the dye pots long enough, I rung them out and brought them outdoors. I had a small bowl of water and ammonia along with a jar of vinegar and rusty nails. I tested strands of each colored yarn into the solutions to either brighten the colors or to sadden them(which is what the rusty nail solution does). The elderberry was the most fun to work with as it would change from pink to green in the ammonia and from pink to blue in the rusty nail solution. I am so thrilled with the colors that I got and am looking forward to working with even more plants and nuts. I'll be sure to post pictures of my sweater when I finish it. Although next fall seems far away, we will be having a four day knitting retreat here at Hawk Circle next September. Along with a chance to be out in nature during one of the most beautiful times of the year, participants will learn how to dye wool, felt, knit and spin. It's going to be a GREAT time!

The Juniper Retreat

The Juniper Retreat was awesome! We created a week of living in an intuitive culture that was so deeply aligned with the rhythms of nature. Upon waking, we sipped our hot mugs of herbal tea before venturing off to our medicine spots to slowly wake to the rising sun and the singing birds. During the days, we baked bread, made homemade butter and hearty soups to sustain us during the week. We collected plants for dyeing wool and yarn, felted medicine bags and collected roots and berries for our medicines. I think my favorite part of the retreat, was entering into the tepee for our nightly women's lodge. It was the perfect ending to each day, as we stoked the fire and found comfort in the wisdom of the words and stories we shared. I am already looking forward to next year's Juniper Retreat and hope that more young women can join us!

The Path of the Black Madonna

The Black Madonna is calling us to awaken. She is the presence that whispers in our ears encouraging us to look deep into ourselves for truth. She is the archetype that is embracing the world at this moment requiring us to fully incarnate and to be grounded in our bodies. She is asking us to be in relationship with one another and with our mother earth so that we can bring about the changes that are so desperately needed in this world.

The Black Madonna, typically represented as a dark and sometimes black madonna statue, most often holding a child, but not always, is found in many parts of Europe. Some think she is black simply because of the wood she was carved from, others think it is because she got blackened with soot from fire. However, neither of these explain the truth of the Black Madonna. She is black because she represents the dark fertile soil of the earth and she is black because she represents our unconscious selves. She also represents the void, the seat of creation where all things come from. And the child on her lap, is the symbol of the newborn consciousness that is birthed through the initiatory rites of the Black Madonna.

Learning or studying about her through the intellect is not a path to really knowing who she is as an archetypal force. To truly know her is to experience her. To surrender your self to her power and let her guide you through profound transformation. It is the only way to truly understand the Black Madonna.

We have become so disconnected from nature, never being fully present in our bodies and sinking our roots into the earth for our nourishment. Instead we have been in co- dependent relationships whether it be with one another or with substances that give us a false sense of security and sustenance. The Black Madonna guides us through our grief, our fears and the trauma that has prohibited us from growing our roots and establishing authentic relationships with the natural world and with one another.

I first encountered the Black Madonna on a trip to France 15 years ago. Prior to the trip, I had been noticing the feeling of standing back from life. I didnʼt feel like I was truly experiencing life in a way that was passionate and I basically felt really disconnected. After being woken by a dream where I was frantically running through the streets of a foreign land and hid inside an unlit cathedral finding refuge, I intuitively knew this foreign land was France and that for some reason I was being called there. It was only a matter of months that I had my bags packed, anxious to discover what was there for me.

I went from cathedral to cathedral visiting the many statues of the Black Madonna and would pray for guidance, leaving my offerings and gratitude still not quite understanding why I had been called to France or even who the Black Madonna was. It was in a tiny church, far away from any city and out on a winding country road that I stared into the knowing eyes of the Black Madonna asking the question, “what is it that you are asking of me?”. It was as if a lightening bolt went through my heart, clearing my throat that had previously been swollen and congested and bringing tears to my eyes. I felt my heart open to all the world and in that moment began the most powerful initiation of my life.

For years following this experience, I journeyed deeper into my soul than I ever thought imaginable. I surrendered to Her, allowing every grief and every trauma to surface so that I could go through it, heal it and become free. Because the Black Madonna is the creative force that is our sexuality, I spent many years exploring my sexuality and the distorted beliefs I held as well as trauma that was not just my own, but the collective wounding of the feminine. I wanted to understand, not just for myself, but for all of humankind, why sex had become an area of control, fear, and abuse. I wanted to understand the wounding behind those drawn to S&M so that I could someday help to free them. I wanted to experience the power of gentleness and compassion that could heal sexual abuse and free myself and others from the shame that is often held deep in our souls. I wanted to bring my own sexuality to a place of sacredness where I could experience divine union. With every step I took, the Black Madonna was there, guiding me and shining the light in my darkest corners. Her eyes that held such compassion and wisdom provided me with a sense of love, security and incredible acceptance while I journeyed through the deepest parts of myself.

This was an initiation of feeling and becoming alive in my body. There is no other way through this journey than to feel and that means all of the pain and grief and fear that we have turned away from leaving us so disconnected from the nourishing elements of our mother earth. It is an initiation that can make us feel like we are going crazy as we encounter one threshold after another, bringing up feelings such as betrayal, rejection, victimization, and abandonment. But without moving through these feelings, we are never able to heal and to experience the passionate joy that is found when we live fully in our bodies and with our roots sunk deep in to our mother earth. We are never able to embody our creative forces that are instrumental in providing us with nourishment and the power to create our lives the way we would like.

This is why the Black Madonna is calling to all of us. She is not only guiding us to fully incarnate so that we may live passionate, creative lives, but she is inviting us to become active participants in creating a new world free from fear and control. She is the dark, rich fertile soil from which all things flourish. She is the force of nature that brings us through the seasons and the cycles of death and rebirth. She is the archetype that guides us to break through illusions finding truth and freedom. She is profound transformation.

Dandelion Blossom Fritters

I love this time of year when things are just beginning to sprout and everything feels so fresh and tender. Here at Hawk Circle, we have just started to see a few dandelion flowers in bloom as well as violets. Dandelions are a great plant and unfortunately it's a plant that many of us spend a lot of time trying to get rid of. Myself included in areas that I don't want taken over by dandelions. However, I still have plenty of dandelions around my yard and look forward to their sprouting each spring. Before the flowers bloom, the greens are great for picking to add to salads or to cook as you would other greens. Look for the real tender new leaves. Once they've bloomed, they can be quite bitter so be sure to collect them before their flowers blossom.

Once the flowers blossom, they are so much fun and easy to collect. A great project for young children since they are so easy to pop off the stem as well as easy to find and identify. One of my favorite spring recipes is Dandelion Blossom Fritters. It's simple, delicious, nutritious, and inexpensive. What more could you ask for?
Dandelion Fritter Recipe
- Collect a basketful of fresh dandelion flowers, making sure you are not collecting near a road or where the area may have been sprayed with pesticides.  Wash gently and pat to dry.
- Fill a bowl with corn flakes and crush them slightly.
- Fill another bowl with a couple of beaten eggs and a little milk.
- Dip the flowers in one by one into the beaten eggs and then roll in the crushed corn flakes.
- Place in hot skillet with about an inch of olive oil and fry until they are lightly brown and crispy.
I serve these with honey and they are delicious. I have also made a violet flower syrup to go with them since the violets come out at the same time as the dandelions. However, since violet flowers are not easy to collect being so small, I prefer to use the flowers I have for making violet jelly. Have a great spring and enjoy nature's bounty!

Healing Our Family Patterns

How many of you parents have heard, "you can't heal your kids", or "you can't heal your partner"? I've heard so many people say that and I have to say, I think that is the most disempowering message that especially as a mom and the primary caregiver for my family I have ever heard. Now I admit, I understand where that belief comes from and to some extent, it's true. It's true because the family is a system, with everyone playing a particular role in a much larger pattern and how can you heal one of your family members when you are part of the same pattern. I completely get that. However, you have the power and the potential to bring healing to your family.

The family is an energetic system, and if you can recognize the pattern that you want to change and most importantly, your participation in the pattern, then you can bring about profound change and healing to your family. However, here's the key. You can work to heal the pattern within yourself, but as far as the rest of the family goes and how they respond to your shift in the energetic pattern is completely up to them AND you must remain unattached to the outcome. You must remain open ended as to how the rest of your family responds and focus only on yourself and your own healing. Remaining open allows for miracles to happen. When we do the work and are attached to the outcome in regards to the rest of the family, you have just created a closed system. Closed systems are just that, an energetic system that is closed, not open ended. There is no room for the energy of miracles to enter.

Is it hard to be unattached? Absolutely! It's a rite of passage and an especially difficult one when you are dealing with the people you love most. A good way to approach this, is first, you are healing yourself for yourself and is a great act of loving yourself. What a wonderful example to set for your family. Second, when it comes to creating an energetic open system, a good question to put out there is "IF there was something that I could do to help, what would that look like?", or when you are healing yourself and shifting the energy, ask yourself, "IF I change this for myself, I wonder what the response will be." The open system is a much different thought process. You are leaving room for all sorts of possibilities, rather than saying something like, "IF I heal this, will they then do .............". Chances are the answer is NO. You are creating an energetic closed system and acting to get a particular response. No room for miracles there.

The other power we have is prayer. And let's not underestimate the power of prayer. Again, you don't want your prayers to be a closed system because even though you think you may know what your family member is needing, you really don't. When I pray for one of my children while they are going through a particularly difficult time, I pray for the power of their spirit to shine through. I completely trust in the power and strength of their spirit and their own innate wisdom. In a way, through the act of prayer, I am shining a light and bearing witness to their own power. It is in a way, holding the space of a spiritual midwife. I am seeing them. Not who I might want them to be, but their inner strength, wisdom and authentic self. It has been a very powerful experience and when my child's spirit shines through, I am blown away by who they are.

What a great feeling to know you have the power and don't have to sit back and watch your loved one(s) struggle. Is it an easy journey? No, it is not. It requires you to let go of control, trust, and journey deep into yourself. It requires you to be humble, to forgive yourself for your own unconsciousness, and to trust in the process of miracles.

Backyard Chickens

Raising chickens in your backyard is pretty easy to do and having fresh eggs each day for your family is so rewarding. There are a number of varieties of chickens ranging in size, color, and temperment. Every breed has a smaller version known as a Batam. Batams, being smaller than regular chickens are easier to take care of. They don't eat as much, they don't require such a large space and the coop is easier to keep clean. The drawbacks are that their eggs are smaller, 3 batam eggs equal about 2 regular eggs, and if you butcher them, they are very small once the feathers are gone. (Not meat chickens by any means!)

I raise Buff Cochins and Buff Brahmas, both Batams. I've gotten used to the smaller eggs and really enjoy these two breeds. They're not at all aggressive, very pretty to look at, and are excellent setters and layers. This isn't true for all breeds and if you want to have them hatch eggs to increase your flock, having hens that will sit on eggs til they hatch is necessary. Some breeds are great egg layers, but will never sit on eggs and others are great sitters, but don't lay many eggs.

Chickens are great at scratching the ground and finding bugs to eat, but you won't want them in your garden. They will scratch away any beds planted with seeds as well as tender saplings. It's nice to be able to have them free range, but this isn't always possible especially if you live in the suburbs or have close neighbors. A fenced in area works fine, just be sure to bury the base of your fence so other animals won't be tempted to invade the pen. Also, a 4 ft. fence is fine if you are planning on clipping their wings so they won't fly, otherwise you will need a much taller fence or you can buy netting that goes over the top of the fenced in chicken pen.

The chicken coup doesn't need to be huge, but it does need to be well ventilated. A vent opposite a window or two windows work fine. Also, the more southern exposure your coup gets, the more light in the coup which will encourage your hens to lay eggs into the winter. If you have plenty of land, having a coup on wheels is a great way to move your flock around.


As far as food, they love my daily food scraps for the compost. Just don't give it to them near the coop or you will attract other animals besides your chickens, and the other animals will be sure to find your chicken grain as well. Besides food scraps, I feed my chickens organic layer crumble. During the winter I mix it with whole corn. It's harder to digest and tends to generate heat during the cold winter months. If the egg shells seem thin or a bit fragile, I add crushed oyster shells to their feed.

How many chickens should you get? Depending on where you live, there may be zoning laws that restrict the the number of chickens you may have or in some places may not allow any chickens, so it is a good idea to check before investing time or money. I have seven hens and together they lay about 5-6 eggs a day. More than plenty for our family and the extra are used by the summer camp. If it was just our family eating them, I would probably only have about three hens. If you want to increase your flock, just leave the nest filled with eggs for a few days and they will begin sitting.

I enjoy my chickens. The eggs are so much better than anything I can buy in the store and they are so much fun to watch!

What is an Initiation?

There are some circumstances in our lives that clearly mark an initiation, a crossing of a threshold into new territories, knowledge and abilities. For an example, the first time we leave home as a young adult is a clear path of change, a shift from living in the comforts and protection of our parents' home, to fending for ourselves and learning to navigate through the world. This initiation into young adulthood is often celebrated as a graduation party where friends and relatives get together and honor this time, giving you gifts to support your journey.

But what about the initiations that life hands us that aren't so clearly marked and defined nor often times supported? These initiations may go unseen by everyone, including the initiate themselves. Your life may feel like it's getting turned upside down by a series of events that change your life or place boulders on your path forcing you to choose a different direction. These events can leave you puzzled, bewildered, frightened, lonely, distraught, and at times can leave you feeling completely out of control, as though you are losing your mind.

It is at these times where your soul is at the helm steering your life in a direction that will bring you to a new place in your life, IF you are willing to let go. The events that are creating a crumbling of your life is your soul's way of pushing you through the initiation, across the threshold where new beginnings, new knowledge, and perhaps new abilities await.

However, without the support of a guide that can traverse this type of landscape well, your path of initiation can become a series of never ending struggle and most commonly will take the road of blaming someone or something else, never crossing the threshold.

What is it that prevents us from crossing the threshold? Well, first of all, how many of you are taught about initiations in your life? How many times did you see your mother going through a difficult time and had her "initiation guide" comfort you by telling you, "your mom is going through a difficult initiation and is doing a great job". "When she completes this initiation, we will hold a big party and she will get to share all that she learned from this experience." I'm willing to bet that most of you never experienced this in your life. So, not having any frame of reference or understanding of initiations is a big reason why they can be so difficult and easily aborted.

The other reason is fear. I've been through many initiations and there hasn't been one initiation where fear wasn't present. To pass through the threshold is a type of death. You can't experience a rebirth without first experiencing a death. The death is the letting go of what ever is being asked of us, making space for the new to come in. It can feel incredibly scary. As many times as I've gone through an initiation and know exactly what they look and feel like and the universal law that presides over initiations, I still can be terrified as I step over the threshhold. The death can feel incredibly real and incredibly scary. Whether it's letting go of a loved one, a job or a perception, it can be very scary and the only thing waiting for you on the other side is the unknown. Hmmmmmmmmmm, not very comforting.

However, with the help of someone guiding you along the way, comfort can be found even within the chaos. And what may have at first felt like complete turmoil, becomes an adventure or a journey that is going to bring you to a new place of being, to a greater awareness of yourself, a more expanded state of soulful being and emotional freedom.

The Staff of Life

I've loved learning the history of bread baking from its nutritional values to its community supportive quality. It is a symbol of the earth holding all the elements needed for life because it is primarily made from seeds, holding the potential for new life.One of the oldest communities of agriculture and bread baking was Catal Huyuk in Turkey, dating back to 6300-5500BC. I visited the ruins of Catal Huyuk many years ago, and it is an incredible ancient city, much larger than I had envisioned and one that they are still excavating. It is known for its temples dedicated to the Mother Goddess.
he making of bread was a community experience from grinding the grains to tending the fire of the central hearth for baking. The picture above is of an old style breadmaking oven that I found in Egypt and is still used. I'm planning to duplicate this oven here at Hawk Circle someday. Here is my favorite bread recipe. It is so basic which makes it ideal for adding different ingredients each time you make it.

2 pkgs of yeast
2 tsp. sugar
1 Cup scalded milk
1 Cup boiling water
5-6 Cups flour
4 Tbs. sugar
4 Tbs. butter
1 Tbs. salt
1 egg

Mix the yeast and 2t. of sugar with 1/4 warm water and let sit until yeast is activated. Pour the boiling water and scalded milk over the butter, sugar and salt. Let sit until it becomes warm, NOT hot. If it is still too hot when you add the yeast mixture, it can kill the yeast. Add beaten egg and yeast mixture, stir and then add 1 Cup of flour at a time while stirring. You may place this in a bowl, cover and let sit in a warm place til it rises or you may cover and refrigerate until needed. Bake at 350 degrees.

Variations: I will often use a combination of white and wheat flours, at a ratio of about 50:50. I also add at times fresh rosemary and thyme for an herb bread and once, some of the students here at Hawk Circle baked the bread with whole garlic cloves. Other times I will had dried fruits such as currents, cranberries, raisins and apricots. This is also the same recipe that I use to make delicious cinnamon rolls on Christmas and Easter morning. I make the dough the night before and refrigerate it. The next morning I roll out the dough in a rectangle shape, spread soft butter on and sprinkle with cinnamon and brown sugar(sometimes I add raisins and nuts). Then I roll it up and slice. I put the cinnamon rolls on a cookie sheet and let sit until they have risen, then bake. After baking I drizzle the rolls with frosting made of butter, confectionery sugar and milk. They are my family's favorite!

Pine Needle Tea

Known to be a great source of vitamin C, white pine needle tea makes an excellent remedy to fight the winter cold. It is easy to identify by its brush like cluster of needles and is the only 5 needled eastern pine. To make a tea, simply gather enough needles to fill a large mason jar. After stuffing the needles into the jar, fill the jar with boiling water and let sit for several minutes. The tea will turn a light yellow/green. Strain the tea and add honey for a healthy, warming tea. You may refrigerate any left over tea for later use. Enjoy!

Composting - a divine process

This is the time of year that I crave green. I crave the color and especially the smell of fresh, green grass. As beautiful as the snow is, I can feel that my body is needing green in other ways than eating a plate full of collards or kale and we won't really see spring up here at Hawk Circle until mid April.

I have two remedies for those of you who also feel this way. One is making fruit shakes and adding a heaping tablespoon of PaleoGreens. It's the best supplement that I have found. It contains a variety of organic vegetables and best of all, it has a lemon-lime taste that is actually enjoyable and can easily be added to shakes for your kids with out them ever noticing. Unlike the powder supplements that you have to plug your nose while drinking because they are so horrific.

The other remedy to bring green in to my home is to plant grass. I will find an old planter, fill it with dirt and sprinkle it with grass seeds and then stick an apple or willow branch in the middle. The grass grows quickly and smells so good while the branch's tender leaves begin to unfold. You can also grow the grass in pie tins that will fit inside your children's Easter baskets.

Composting - a divine process

Often times we think of the Divine as what looks beautiful, feels good, and is pure and holy. I've begun to have an appreciation for the Divine that is forever present in things that don't always look beautiful and at times can even feel repulsive. Take the process of the compost pile. Bits of rotting food scraps, grass clippings, some dead leaves, manure, and you have yourself an incredible compost pile where everything is breaking down, falling apart, transforming into what will someday be beautiful, nutrient rich, life giving matter that will feed new growth and healthy new plants.

Is this not what we are experiencing right now in our country? A complete breakdown, a crumbling, decomposition of what no longer serves us. Our food scraps that no longer provide us with the nourishment that we need. It is the Divine process of transformation and change. It doesn't always look pretty and it can be so uncomfortable and scary and repulsive all at the same time. But the possibilities of what may grow out of this breakdown are endless and exciting to say the least.

I've watched my family go through breakdowns. And believe me in the moment, I can easily forget that this is a Divine process, a natural process. It feels scary and feels like such an unwelcome upheaval, and an ending that is sure not to have a new beginning. This is often what our teenagers offer us - a human compost bin. The struggle that we often observe with teens is their attempt to breakdown old family structures so that they can grow beyond the family container. It's not a fun process, but what is being asked of us as parents is to let go, not completely, but to let go and allow for the expansion. When the old patterns that no longer serve us are fully decomposed and I watch the new growth begin to take place within myself and the rest of my family, I am reminded of just how Divine it all is. TRUST the process!