How many of you parents have heard, "you can't heal your kids", or "you can't heal your partner"? I've heard so many people say that and I have to say, I think that is the most disempowering message that especially as a mom and the primary caregiver for my family I have ever heard. Now I admit, I understand where that belief comes from and to some extent, it's true. It's true because the family is a system, with everyone playing a particular role in a much larger pattern and how can you heal one of your family members when you are part of the same pattern. I completely get that. However, you have the power and the potential to bring healing to your family.
The family is an energetic system, and if you can recognize the pattern that you want to change and most importantly, your participation in the pattern, then you can bring about profound change and healing to your family. However, here's the key. You can work to heal the pattern within yourself, but as far as the rest of the family goes and how they respond to your shift in the energetic pattern is completely up to them AND you must remain unattached to the outcome. You must remain open ended as to how the rest of your family responds and focus only on yourself and your own healing. Remaining open allows for miracles to happen. When we do the work and are attached to the outcome in regards to the rest of the family, you have just created a closed system. Closed systems are just that, an energetic system that is closed, not open ended. There is no room for the energy of miracles to enter.
Is it hard to be unattached? Absolutely! It's a rite of passage and an especially difficult one when you are dealing with the people you love most. A good way to approach this, is first, you are healing yourself for yourself and is a great act of loving yourself. What a wonderful example to set for your family. Second, when it comes to creating an energetic open system, a good question to put out there is "IF there was something that I could do to help, what would that look like?", or when you are healing yourself and shifting the energy, ask yourself, "IF I change this for myself, I wonder what the response will be." The open system is a much different thought process. You are leaving room for all sorts of possibilities, rather than saying something like, "IF I heal this, will they then do .............". Chances are the answer is NO. You are creating an energetic closed system and acting to get a particular response. No room for miracles there.
The other power we have is prayer. And let's not underestimate the power of prayer. Again, you don't want your prayers to be a closed system because even though you think you may know what your family member is needing, you really don't. When I pray for one of my children while they are going through a particularly difficult time, I pray for the power of their spirit to shine through. I completely trust in the power and strength of their spirit and their own innate wisdom. In a way, through the act of prayer, I am shining a light and bearing witness to their own power. It is in a way, holding the space of a spiritual midwife. I am seeing them. Not who I might want them to be, but their inner strength, wisdom and authentic self. It has been a very powerful experience and when my child's spirit shines through, I am blown away by who they are.
What a great feeling to know you have the power and don't have to sit back and watch your loved one(s) struggle. Is it an easy journey? No, it is not. It requires you to let go of control, trust, and journey deep into yourself. It requires you to be humble, to forgive yourself for your own unconsciousness, and to trust in the process of miracles.
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